


Watchmen in Blood Gulch

by LadyScale



Category: Red vs. Blue, Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Puns, Comedy, Complete, Crack, Crossover, Drabble, Ficlet, Funny, Gen, Gen Fic, Hilarious, Humor, Kink Meme, Light-Hearted, LiveJournal, Mistaken Identity, Parody, Screenplay/Script Format, Short, Silly, Watchmen Kink Meme, Wordcount: 100-1.000, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-03
Updated: 2009-08-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 05:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyScale/pseuds/LadyScale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Watchmen meet the guys from Red vs Blue. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watchmen in Blood Gulch

**Author's Note:**

> Made for the Watchmen Kink Meme here: [spam-monster.livejournal.com/813.html](spam-monster.livejournal.com/813.html)

Comedian: "Listen here, just because we call ourselves the "Watchmen" doesn't mean we make clocks, or do we snowboard, we had PIGGYBANKS leakier than a faucet for Christ's sake, and if one of you say 'youdle' again, I'll send your sorry nuts right under the tread of that there puma-looking truck there!"

Grif: "See, Sarge? Someone else agrees that it-"

Sarge: "Why call me a girlie scout and paint me green! Another one spouting imaginary creatures! Obviously, Grif's utter laziness and incompetence has finally gotten to his head and made his brain rot, forming and telepathically passing on a new strain of disease which makes people believe in fairy tales!"

Dan: "...what?? Is this guy for real?"  
Tucker: "Play along. It's the only way you'll keep your sanity..."  
Sarge: "Donut! Get Grif back to base and administer the oven cleaner up his nostrils - that might keep the infection from growing further!"

Donut: "Yessir!" [trots back]  
Grif: *sigh* I hate my life... (mumble grumble)  
Adrian: "Wait. That's a man under there?"  
Donut: (from afar) "IT'S LIGHTISH RED!!"  
Adrian: ... *smirk*  
Sarge: *ahem* "Now. Red team is always eager to get new recruits-"  
Church: "Hey! We got here first!"  
Sarge: "Suck it, blue!"  
Simmons: "Sir, If I may."  
Sarge: "What."  
Simmons: "Well, taking into account the 1815 Congress, they're still supposedly neutral..."  
Comedian: "NOT!! SWISS!!!"

Dan: *sigh* "Enough of this. Would someone just explain as to why... Why is that blue one holding a malt cup?"

Tucker: "Oh, you mean Caboose? He's... err... dude, what are you doing with it anyway?"

Caboose: (looking back from staring at Rorschach) "huh? Oh. Church once said that cows from Slushieland is where chocolate milk comes from, and since I remember that that looks like 'cowprint' then that must mean it's Milkshake Time!"

Rorschach: "Ennk." (fists clench)  
Dan: "Wait. Did he just- Oh my God! Somebody stop him before he gets himself killed."  
Church: (slowly steps back) "Nah, let 'im. It's the only way he'll learn."  
Adrian: *whisper* "Actually, Comedian, I think it looked more like a linx..."  
Sarge: "Great gibbly-gibblets, It's spreading already!"  
Caboose: "Somebody hold it steady so I can milk it?"  
"RRAAAARRL!"


End file.
